As quickly descending in the political convention season, we wanted to find out who are the perspective candidates to be the animated GOP running mate and potential next animated Vice President of the United States. With a long list of powerful and popular animated potentials, we have worked our sources and discovered who is in the running to be on the stage as the VP pick.
There are two people who were vetted and made the short list, but not the top five.
Mojo JoJo – Powerpuff Girls
With his deep scientific knowledge and infectious laugh, Mojo Jojo would provide a strong contrast to the presumptive GOP nominee. His preoccupation with the Powerpuff Girls might provide to be a distraction in a campaign already riddled with distractions. His extensive criminal background has been played down my the mainstream media. FiXed News continues to draw comparisons between JoJo and the Democratic Nominee’s own legal troubles.
Aku – Samurai Jack
Perhaps the biggest risk of the vetting process, Aku barely missed the short list. His commanding presence might have slightly over shadowed that of the GOP nominee’s. During the background check, we understand that he is listed as the “The Deliverer of Darkness” and the “Shogun of Sorrow”. These pseudonyms did not poll well with the 50 to 65 demographic; they did, however, do well with the 22 to 28 crowd. Unnamed inside sources at the RNC expressed concern that Aku might pose a national security risk. But since he is not on any watchlist or No-Fly list, RNC officials have allowed his name to remain on the list of potential VP prospects.
Let’s get to the top 5 list!
#5 – Mayor Shelbourne (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs)
Mayor Shelbourne brings years of government knowledge and experience to the GOP ticket. He has shown leadership in bringing strong economic development to the town of Shallow Falls. His ambitious goals and sharp people skills make him almost a mirror image of the GOP nominee. Where Mayor Shelbourne really shines, is with his outgoing nature. His suave persona has been onw of the hallmarks of this administration. He is a strong orator and motivator, which will help as he and the GOP nominee tour the country, holding town halls and rallies. Despite his hectic schedule, Mayor Shelbourne is known dine with his constitutes in a local buffet.
#4 – Brain (Animanics: Pinky & The Brain)
By far, Brain is the most intelligent prospect in the GOP. Where many of the GOP politicians tend of be swayed by emotion or faith, Brain is driven by one key goal. On “Face the Nation” last month, his longtime Executive Assistant said, “Brain would be the bestest ever. Narf!” One of the standout aspects about Brain is that he bring a calm intellect that is sorely missing from the current GOP stage. As a scientist, inventor, and sociologist; he has a keen understanding of what people want and need. He holds numerous patents for devices that influence human behavior. Brain is the best of the best, and will likely be President one day, very very soon. (Narf!)
#3 – Mr. Krabs (SpongeBob Squarepants)
An entrepreneur and family man, Mr. Krabs is the quintessential grassroots GOP supporter. He runs a small family-owned diner under the middle of nowhere. She has two great loves in his life: Money and his daughter, Pearl. Around these two areas, Mr. Krabs and the GOP Nominee bonded. During the vetting process, we are told that they spent a considerable amount of time sniffing money and talking about family. If Mr. Krabs joins the ticket, he intends to use the national stage to push for lower employer contributions for employee healthcare, a limit on employee breaks & leave, and a permanent ban on small and microscopic organisms owning businesses. Polling shows, Mr. Krabs’ strong family values make him one of the top picks for the 40 to 50 year old suburban and sub-aquatic demographic.
#2 – Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe)
When looking at the GOP Nominee and Cobra Commander, we first thought that they might be the same person. Both talk about themselves a great deal. They both tend to fiercely and randomly diatribe about whatever is on their minds. As leaders of large international organizations, they are both are challenged with repeated failures. Finally, neither will disclose their sources of revenue or tax forms. You might as well have Tomax and Xamot running for office. No better pairing has ever run together on a political ticket. One thing you can guarantee, with Cobra Commander on the ballot, security will be the largest budget line of the campaign. Hiss Tanks don’t run on 87 gas.
… and the top candidate to be the GOP nominee’s running mate and your next Vice President:
#1 – Princess Azula of the Fire Nation (Avatar the Last Airbender)
Princess Azula is the ideal candidate on many levels. She will help to repair the damage done by the GOP nominee with women voters. She is a strong, outspoken, leader with no fear of anyone or anything. We expect congress to pass many many laws under her leadership. Campaign staff are excited because they feel that she will that will “light a fire” under the youth vote.
From an early age, Azula has shown that she has a clear grasp of politics and military strategy. She is polling very well in various age groups, various genders, and military personnel. After further research, we found that a number of these polls were taken near Fire Fountain City and other Fire Nation villages. Some of the polling data might be skewed.
When the GOP Nominee asked about her thoughts on being his running mate, Azula stated, “Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in the entire world. We will dominate the Earth”*
Azula is our top pick for the mostly likely animated GOP running mate.
Who do you think has the chops to be the next GOP pick for VP?
*– For Azula’s quote, see “Avatar The Last Airbender” Season 3 Episode 5: “The Beach”. Time 12:39). or click here!